*before Shooting Your Shot - IG Post

Shooting Your Shot

"shooting your shot" means to pursue/reach out to someone you are interested in intimately - this can be romantic, s-xu-l, or platonic. Typically "shooting your shot" focuses on taking a chance to see if someone is interested in you romantically or sexually, and it is African American Vernacular English (AAVE). This is a leap of faith and requires confidence and putting aside one's ego. Taking a chance to see if someone is mutually interested is challenging enough. For polyamorists, it can be even more daunting due to the stigmatization and miseducation of polyamory.


Do Some Research

Before asking someone on a date or their number, do some research. Doing your research does not mean violating this person(s) privacy or stalking. If this person is monogamous and in a relationship, it is probably safe to assume they are not interested in dating. Even if they are open to dating and are in a monogamous relationship, do you want to be a part of someone's infidelity? If you know, they are non-monogamous, understand that does not mean they are automatically polyamorous. In addition to relationship status, consider s-xu-lity and romantic interest. For example, if she is a lesbian and you are a cis het man, don't shoot your shot. Doing reasonable "research" lowers your chances of offending someone and jumping to conclusions.


Cultural Awareness

Some cultures have a particular way of approaching someone. However, in the same way that you want to be culturally aware, you also don't want to assume someone's culture. This is a fragile balance.


Time and Place

Do not ask someone out on a date in the middle of the workplace around other co-workers. Be considerate of time & place when attempting to ask someone out or for their number. You do not want them to feel obligated to give a certain answer due to their current environment. Time and place also consider people's position, meaning you probably should reconsider shooting your shot with a subordinate at your workplace. Perhaps reconsider shooting your shot with a friend or partner's ex unless you are sure they will not mind. Confidence is not void of logic.

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