Being alone / single while actively seeking as a polyamorous person can be discouraging. Seeing your peers in blooming polycules can take a toll on even the strongest person if they are struggling to find love.
Give Yourself a Break
Take a break from the dating scene. This may mean deleting your dating apps or telling those you're interacting with that you are no longer seeking those type of connections right now. Giving yourself a break can lower the anxiety of rushing from date to date, person to person, and dynamic to dynamic. You can go back to the drawing board of what works for you or just simply work on yourself until you feel refreshed enough to return.
Sometimes loneliness as a single person in polyamory can stem from comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. Think on what you currently have access to as it relates to your polyamory. Be grateful for your access to polyamorous education and community. Be grateful that you have taken the time to figure out what you want from a polyamorous relationship. Be grateful for any platonic connections you have made in the community.
Do Not Isolate
Even if you are taking time away from the dating scene - do not isolate yourself from your friends and the community! Isolation is a slippery slope that can lead to some pretty harmful thoughts if you tend to suffer from depression and anxiety. You can maintain a balance of social life and protection from feeling pressure from dating or being in a relationship. Sometimes we can make our loneliness worse by avoiding images that make us feel bad.
Look at Your Circle
Those around you may be pressuring, being shady, or teasing you for being single. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness can be exasperated by cruel "friends" making you more insecure. Typically we think of loneliness as something WE have caused, but sometimes it is those around us that isolate us and create those dark feelings. Prepare to cut off some "friends" if this is happening.
Pour into yourself. Self care is self love. sometimes you just need to focus on giving yourself the love you want so badly to give to other people
I attract healthy and loving relationships.
I control access to me. I may be lonely, but I am not alone.
I am creating and attracting the relationships I deserve.
I am loved and valued.
I am lovable and valuable.
I can take all the time I need.
A vision board is a collage of images and text that reflect your goals and dreams. Creating a vision board that reflects the relationship(s) you want to be in could be helpful with that feeling of anxiety. Put things you would like to do with your future partners on the board, a dream house, recipes you plan on cooking for them, etc. AVOID using images of influencer polyamorous dynamics and celebrities. this should be unique to you!