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"Let's Get Married" - IG Post

"Let's Get Married" is a carousel posted on Marjani Lane's IG page. This is the all text version of all of the slides.

the situation

Two major things to be aware of:

- Bigamy, the act of going through a marriage ceremony while already married to another person, has been illegal in the United States since 1878. Essentially no polygamous people in America are legally married to more than one person.

- A lot of polyamorous people are not interested in legal marriage or marrying again for whatever reason.

There are a few options available to validate those polyamorous and polygamous commitments in the community however.

but why?

Marriage and its ceremonies do not solely belong to the monogamous community. For some polyamorous and polygamous people - having a ceremony in front of loved ones publicly declaring loyalty and love is integral to their relationship's future. It can be representative of the next "step" in their relationships. with marriage being "gate kept" by a monogamous society, this is the closest thing to it for some.


Handfasting has old roots in wedding and betrothal ceremonies. It can be symbolic of the commitment to marry, marriage, or a ritual. Handfasting is literally what it sounds like - the fastening of the hands of the betrothed together with a ribbon, thread, or rope. The ritual can be done at a ceremony with loved ones to watch and can be done with multiple hands being tied or bound together. This tradition has a lot of roots in European heritage and is practiced by some Celtic neopagans and Wiccans.

jumping the broom

While typically done AT a legal wedding, this tradition has roots in African American communities as something done at the end of the ceremony. Since African Americans were not legally allowed to get married until The Civil Rights Act of 1866, jumping of the broom was done in front of their enslaved community as a declaration of marriage and commitment. "Jumping the broom" has re-emerged as a cultural ritual in the African American community at weddings and can certainly be used as a representation of long-term commitment.

commitment ceremony

Perhaps due to personal beliefs, spirituality, or ingenuity - a specially curated commitment ceremony may be more appropriate. This can mimic a wedding reception, exchanging personal vows, getting matching tattoos or whatever fits the parties preference.

the last name

While not exactly something that would be done in front of a group of people to celebrate a commitment, is becoming a viable option for some to represent a transition in their relationship. Some polyamorous people are opting for creating / choosing a last name for their partners and changing their names to this to represent their commitment to each other as significant others and a family. This offers options to feminine presenting people and women who would typically are expected to take the masculine presenting person and man's last name.

a wedding

You can literally plan an entire wedding for your declaration of marriage / commitment to your partner(s). Some polyamorous and polygamous people literally fund an entire wedding ceremony to marry an additional partner or multiple partners at once. Weddings do not only belong to the monogamous community and "legal" marriage.

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