Bisexual cis women coupled to cis het men - stop entering queer safe spaces to unicorn hunt.
You're a threat.
hard pill to swallow: If you are a bisexual cis woman using queer safe spaces to find a partner for you and your cis het husband /bf - you're probably a threat to the space. If the safe space is polyamorous dating focused and it is okay to actively seek a partner to date you and your cis het husband/bf, great. However, if the queer space is femme & women-focused, with the intent of creating a community amongst each other where they can share experiences...do not hunt for a bisexual, pansexual, queer, or whomever person for your relationship. It can be disarming when unicorn hunters infiltrate a space reserved for marginalized people. Their queerness is not present for your polyamorous triad dreams.
And although you may identify as a bisexual or pansexual woman - it does not mean you are harmless in a space for queer polyam people. This unhealthy consumption trend of queer bodies for polyam triads needs to be discussed.
Where do I go then?
Utilize dating apps, groups, and meet & greets focused on polyamorous dating. If you are in the lifestyle, check out local parties. You are no different from the cis het men that harass, stalk, violate, and creep on queer people by infiltrating safe spaces with the premise of seeking a lover for a triad.
Usually, the entire point of these spaces, especially when non-monogamy is concerned, is to avoid those types of men who f-tishize their sexuality. Once again, you can still be a threat in those spaces.Every space that is queer-focused is not a private dating pool. Unpacking why you need to utilize those spaces to seek out potential partners to be a part of a triad with a cis het man is the first step to accessing how cis het men can weaponize even your sexuality to access those spaces.