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Poly-Curiosity 201 - IG Post

Ground Yourself

As a poly-curious/exploring person, you must unpack your interest in polyamory or polygamy. While you do not need to prove your reasoning to someone, it will prove beneficial to keep you grounded during the journey. Grounding yourself in what triggers your interest and being open-minded to that possibly changing is a fragile balance to maintain. You can be influenced by more experienced polyam people, social media, peers, spiritual or religious beliefs, and more during the process. There is nothing wrong with your curiosity trigger changing, but make sure that this is what you want to do.

The End Goal

the end goal of a poly-curious journey is not to be polyamorous. The end goal should be to find out which love style works best for you. While being poly-curious, you may realize ambiamorous best fits your relationship style. Maybe monogamish is ideal or being a sw!ng3r. You may decide to be monogamous. It's okay to realize polyamory may not be for you. Sometimes poly-curious people hyperfocus on trying to be polyamorous. They miss out on opportunities like unpacking jealousy, mono-compulsive behavior, couple's privilege, heteronormativity, building boundaries, etc. these skills and concepts are beneficial in all relationship styles, from monogamy to relationship anarchy.

Pace Yourself

it's not a race. Polyamory isn't going anywhere. You do not have to do everything on day one. It is okay to set short and long-term goals, but be flexible and avoid relationship goals. While it is okay to challenge yourself, be cautious of people in the polyamorous community encouraging you to move faster or loosen your boundaries. Pacing yourself and simultaneously grounding yourself will protect you from quickly joining relationships. this is inclusive of it you are exploring polyamory with a significant other. Your pace should not speed up just because theirs did.

Record Your Journey

recording your experience is a great way to review what you've learned. You could keep a blog, journal, video log, or whatever you prefer. Having something to reference can help for those more difficult days. Write down how you envision yourself in certain dynamics. Record how you felt when you experienced or did not experience compersion, jealousy, envy, and joy in polyamory. Make a note of boundaries you think you would like to enforce in your relationship with other partners if you navigated some form of non-monogamy.

It's Your Path

even though you will be exploring polyamory in a community - this is predominantly a personal exploration of how you choose to love and commit. Be okay with that. Be okay with making mistakes, learning what you dislike, challenging your learned behavior, and making some difficult decisions regarding relationships.

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