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"Three Incomes Are Better Than One" - IG Post

"Three Incomes Are Better Than One" is a carousel posted on Marjani Lane's IG page January 18th 2022. This is the all text version of all of the slides.

The Theory

With the cost of living increasing and minimum wage stagnant, it is understandable that people would seek out some economic relief by any means necessary. The concept of "three incomes are better than one" comes out of the Black community, where pursuit of polyamorous relationships will be a economic relief in a capitalistic country. Acquiring property, paying off debt, decreasing childcare costs, pooling funds together for savings - could all be achieved with this pursuit, in theory.

The Reality

Group economics via non-monogamy, especially polyamory and polygamy is not uncommon. The theory, on paper, makes total sense. of course if you have three incomes coming into a shared household, there can be more money to build capital. this practice has worked many times. Building capital is essential for impoverished people to get out of the cycle of poverty and provide generational wealth for their descendants.

But if those three people lack financial intelligence, poor spending habit, livable incomes, or are drowning in debt - this practice probably will fail from the start.

But There's More

"Three incomes are better than one" is a phrase not only used by Black polyamorous people - it is used by Black monogamous people seeking out polyamorous relationships. With the selling point of "you can make more money if you just over your jealousy" - there are some people seeing polyamory as a lifestyle choice versus a romantic identity in the interest of having a chance to "build an empire". Aka - generational wealth and access to capital.

The point is that some people are in such a severe financial situation that they are willing to change how they pursue romances if it gives them a shot at relief.

But Can It Work?

Of course. Just because you have struggled financially in the past does not mean your future has to be the same. For your dynamic, it may be ideal to have everyone pool together their funds and resources for access to capital and generational wealth - or at a minimum - comfort. But there are a few things that should be considered, remembered and done before diving in headfirst to pooling incomes...


  • get familiar with the signs of financial abuse --- financial abuse is not always focused on someone restricting your access to income, it could also be someone taking all of yours and misusing it. this is inclusive of pinning bills on you, using your SSN for credit cards, not paying things you have cosigned for and so on...

  • always have your own account --- sharing expenses does not require one shared account or giving all of your money to someone.

  • be transparent --- everyone should have access to shared funds and knowledge of where the money is going.

  • don't let your partners be your only teachers. --- take responsibility for your finances. follow up on your debt and educate yourself in addition to what they are teaching you.

  • say no. --- you can say no to certain purchases and investments that feel too risky. this is still your money.

  • define financial cheating. --- figure out what your dynamic considers financial cheating. if you are spending money meant for a group date night with a potential partner - this could be grounds for a breakup.

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