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You Have Too Many Partners - IG Post

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Non-Monogamists Slut Shame

Surprise surprise, there are polyamorous people that are judgmental of how many partners you have! In a community where it is expected for everyone to have at least one or two partners, it can be hard to imagine that there are people who believe there is a respectable amount of partners to have. The practice affects all genders, but usually is focused towards women and femmes in the non-monogamous community.

How To Recognize It

A lot of people use the guise of being open-minded thanks to their non-monogamy to insert their judgment and policing into the conversation. It may also be used subliminally in the establishment of boundaries, the types of relationships they pursue and expect their partners to pursue, as well as dissuading others around them from dating certain people who may not fit into those views.

The Open Dynamic Shamer

Usually this type of sl*t shamer will weaponize closed dynamics over open dynamics. Very rarely will they reference their preference of closed dynamics without somehow incorporating the amount of partners open dynamics have and STIs. When focused on gender, they will promote MFF closed triads on the premise that dating multiple men somehow diminishes self worth and means the women & femmes doing it lack standards.

The Gate Keeper

These gate keepers are not to be confused with those suggesting someone seek out a different non-monogamous structure. The gate keeper will remind others that polyamory or polygamy's purpose is greater than multiple partners. they will usual focus on racial empowerment (Black people), wealth, and family. This is especially done to guilt women and femmes into seeking specific heteronormative dynamics with a certain amount and gender of partners.

The Manipulator

There are some who will utilize boundaries to establish relationship rules. By using this a boundary, they really weaponize it as a rule that limits their partner's access to other people. By saying this they set a subconscious thought in their partner's head that if they date additional people - they will be violating a boundary. this is typically used when someone is in open dynamics but wants to limit how many people their partners date.

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